Never a hug from his girls

Peter van der Meer glanced at July 17, 2015 around in his garden and saw all the children of friends, friends of his daughters. They marshmallows over a fire. All become one year older. They did. Sophie, Fleur and Bente remain forever 12, 10 and 7. Peters daughters were exactly one year earlier aboard the crashed MH17, along with his ex-wife Ingrid (43).

Peter: ,, At that moment, the loss hurt so much. I'm not running away, I accept the sorrow. But my life is fucked up, destroyed. There I then think of. If you see what I'm missing, what I'm going to miss in the future. Sinterklaas. Christmas. Final exams. The study of those girls. Maybe they would get married, have children, perhaps. Those children are the same age. Everything they experience, I get along very direct. And that's hard. The pain never let me go, playing the whole day. I do not want it to ever go away. Every morning it is again within a minute. And all I get all the pictures of them away, the pain remains. ''

The tragedy surrounding the MH17 - by Peter himself invariably called "the accident" - Tuesday again dominated the news. Then the Dutch Safety Board published a report on the cause of the catastrophe which 298 people died. A good thing, concludes Peter. Especially because he wants the story of his daughters, his ex-wife and the other 294 passengers continue to be heard. ,, This accident should keep the attention, '' Peter says decidedly. Therefore, he agrees, for the first time, also in an interview. Because he wants to explain what an unbridled grief he feels. Because almost no one there to ask for something. Therefore.

Peter van der Meer (47) tells his story in Naarden house where he and girlfriend floos (46) and her 13-year-old son lives. Here he also arranged a room for the girls, who never lived here. On the walls hang large pictures, which Peter a year for the 'accident' during his first vacation as a divorced father, at the Hotel des Invalides in Paris. Three blonde girls look tough in the camera of their father. ,, So they were. My children were not tutjes. ''

Also in the room is a doll carriage, medals, sports days, plaster print of Sophie's teeth who wore braces. Electric toothbrushes, a helmet, books, games. Three birth. Skirts. A bottle of hairspray. On the desk three boxes with stuff that Peter got back from Ukraine. He has a solid sunglasses, from one of the boxes. Ray-Ban's on. ,, But it might as well have been a nepperd. But the glasses are still intact. That is quite extraordinary that we have this unblemished have gotten back "" He still lacks one item that certainly was intact after the 'accident':. Sophie's passport. ,, Because that was quickly shown by rebels on Twitter. ''

The life of Peter, his daughter and ex-wife was in the summer of 2014 just a bit in order. A year earlier they told their children that they would separate, six months later he left actually. That winter he went with his girls in the snow, in the following summer they were with their mother on a trip. Thus, the agreements in joint custody were and that went well. The days before Sophie, Fleur and Bente with their mother to Bali leave, they are with him. Peter rents a sailboat, a falcon. There is a tent on board.

Peter van der Meer (47) tells his story in Naarden house where he and girlfriend floos (46) and her 13-year-old son lives. Here he also arranged a room for the girls, who never lived here. On the walls hang large pictures, which Peter a year for the 'accident' during his first vacation as a divorced father, at the Hotel des Invalides in Paris. Three blonde girls look tough in the camera of their father. ,, So they were. My children were not tutjes. ''

Also in the room is a doll carriage, medals, sports days, plaster print of Sophie's teeth who wore braces. Electric toothbrushes, a helmet, books, games. Three birth. Skirts. A bottle of hairspray. On the desk three boxes with stuff that Peter got back from Ukraine. He has a solid sunglasses, from one of the boxes. Ray-Ban's on. ,, But it might as well have been a nepperd. But the glasses are still intact. That is quite extraordinary that we have this unblemished have gotten back "" He still lacks one item that certainly was intact after the 'accident':. Sophie's passport. ,, Because that was quickly shown by rebels on Twitter. ''

The life of Peter, his daughter and ex-wife was in the summer of 2014 just a bit in order. A year earlier they told their children that they would separate, six months later he left actually. That winter he went with his girls in the snow, in the following summer they were with their mother on a trip. Thus, the agreements in joint custody were and that went well. The days before Sophie, Fleur and Bente with their mother to Bali leave, they are with him. Peter rents a sailboat, a falcon. There is a tent on board.

Funeral
Peter then became clear that Ingrid is buried alone, without her daughters. He wants to see their own funeral yet, although it is discouraged by all sides. ,, I'm not a hero with dead bodies, but I really wanted. ,, It took another week before we were allowed to watch, in a room at the crematorium of the hospital in Hilversum. We were six; my parents were there, floos and my two younger brothers as drivers. I did not know how I would react if I would still be able to drive again. In the car to the hospital, I looked at my phone yet on how quickly a dead looks, what I could expect.